Shopping with Grandma 

Grandma Laura, wherever  you are, thank you for always loving me. I know we didn’t always see eye to eye; but I was one of your biggest fans. I will never forget singing and dancing with you when I was six years old as we cleaned up around the house, and how you would put my hair behind my ears so gently with your lovely painted fingernails. 

Until we meet again, at that greasy spoon up in the sky..Jen, xo

GRANDMA​“Jen honey, I found some things for you to try on. Open the door.” 

JEN ​​“These are old people clothes.”

GRANDMA​“They are lovely clothes and they will fit you nicely.”

JEN​​“I want a jean skirt Grandma. I saw them when we walked into the ​​​store. They’re with all the other cool clothes. An acid wash one. Acid ​​wash is in Grandma.”

GRANDMA​“Jen, that skirt is not for you. Now, give these a try and I’ll be right ​​​outside the door.”


JEN​​“I can’t zip up these pants, Grandma. And they’re too short.”

GRANDMA​ “These are a women’s size twelve and you can’t zip them up? Are ​​​you just fooling with me because you want that fakakta denim skirt?”

JEN​​“They’re too tight and too short Grandma. I don’t understand what ​​​size twelve means.”

GRANDMA​ “It means that you’ve had too many ice cream sandwiches this ​​​summer laying around the house watching television. You’d better ​​​hope they have a larger size.”

JEN​​“That’s NOT TRUE!”

GRANDMA​ “Don’t you raise your voice to me young lady; people can hear you”.

JEN ​​You’re SO mean.”

GRANDMA ​“I’m so mean? Why, because I’m here buying you beautiful new ​​​clothes for back to school? What an awful Grandma I am! Here, the ​​​attendant brought you a larger size. Open the door.”


“I don’t understand why I can’t try on the jean skirt.”

GRANDMA​“Jen, try these on. These will fit.”




GRANDMA​“Do you want to go to House of Pancakes for dinner? Daddy is at ​​​work and Becky is staying at her friend’s house. So, it will just be ​​​Grandpa and you and I for dinner.”

JEN​​“Yeah, ok…These pants fit. Can we go now?”

GRANDMA​“Good, now apologise to your Grandma for being so rude.”

JEN​​“Sorry Grandma, I’m sorry I eat too much and I’m not normal. I just ​​​wanted to get a jean skirt.”

GRANDMA​“Wipe off your sour puss. If you behave yourself maybe I can ask ​​​Grandpa to take us to Sears tomorrow. They just might have one in ​​​the Pretty Plus section.”

JEN​​“Thanks, Grandma. Do you have any gum?”

GRANDMA​“Let me check my pocket book. Here.”

JEN​​“Oooh, Freedent. I like Freedent. Thanks, Grandma.”

GRANDMA “You’re welcome, sweetheart.”






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